How long til my soul gets it right?

From the Cosma Visions Tarot by James R. Eads

I have always struggled with the concept of reincarnation or past lives. It certainly goes against my Biblical teaching and I have always been in a weird place when it comes to my faith and what the Bible may or may not teach. This is just another example of that. As a Christian, I shouldn’t even ask the question. As a human being, with a soul that sometimes feels ancient, well, I can’t help it. I have always had experiences, dreams, interactions with people and things, situations, that have felt timeless instead of new. People and places I just KNEW even though I didn’t. Has that every happened to you?

I remember dreaming the same dream for years about a big house with a huge library and a beautiful fireplace. In front of the fireplace lay a doll in a basket. In my dream I am always a little girl. I am drawn to the doll and approach it, all the while the temperature in the room goes up, becoming warmer with every step. As I go to touch the doll, the house erupts up into flames all around me. The doll was an old doll, like one from 200 years ago, and the house had the same look and feel. I remember burning while the doll lay untouched in the basket. It was quite the nightmare! Mind you, I had never been in a home like that when I first started having the dream, nor did I ever have a doll like the one I saw by the fire. Several years later, I visited Gettysburg and I wandered over to a wall full of antique dolls in an antique shop. One of those dolls seemed so familiar. I felt compelled to touch it, I was mesmerized by it, the lure of the doll hypnotic. As I touched the doll, my arm felt like it had been lit aflame and I dropped the doll. I felt sick to my stomach and ran out of the store. Were the dreams and the doll related? Was the dream a memory? Could that doll have been my doll 200 years before? I don’t know. But it never left me and it was then I started to wonder about these things.

Years later, I was working at a movie theater in South Philly. I was just turned 18, trying to figure out my life. It was New Years Eve, around 4pm. I happened to look up and see this boy in my line, this young man I had never seen before, and he looked at me at the same time. It was as if time stopped and my soul and his soul met in the ether above our heads. It felt like I knew him as well as I knew myself. We had never met before. I had never seen his face before… but our souls, well, it felt like our souls were long lost friends who had finally, by a twist of fate, found one another. Soul mates? Maybe. But did we know each other before? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you but I never did shake that sense that I have known him, known him as if I had known him forever. Ironically, a few years ago I had an Akashic records reading and damned if the story that I lived through with him in THIS life came through as a story from a life I supposedly lived before. A few details were different but it explained the cycle exactly, impossibly accurate, and the woman could not have known anything about me or this boy. My best kept secret. Could past lives explain it?

Honestly, I couldn’t say. I’m open to it. I like the idea of soul groups coming and going together until our souls fulfill their purpose, until they reach the ultimate state of wisdom. I also hate the idea of coming back. Living is great but it’s a lot of work and what if the life I live next time is worse than this one?! Not that this one is bad but what if I make the same mistakes?! How will I even know? How do we fix the karmic cycles and pay the Karmic debt? Haha…. yeah, my mind goes down these paths. But I think it’s worth asking even if we never truly know until it’s our turn to walk into the light from this world into whatever comes next.

I know there’s an afterlife. Of that I have no doubt. I just wonder if it’s all as cut and dry as I was taught. My experiences have taught me otherwise so I have to go with that. This is why I’m doing the Akashic training, and why I will master the past life spread for this incredible deck I just got that is practically devoted to the idea!

I know I didn’t get it all right this time. And if my own Akashic reading is any indication, I made some of the same big mistakes this time as I did before. Who knows… maybe next time I’ll finally get it right.

What are your thoughts? I really want to know. Comment on Facebook or message me via Messenger or email at [email protected] www.facebook.com/jupiterrisingtarot12

No matter who you are, or what life you’re in, know that you’re not alone in this. Take care! Enjoy Galileo by Indigo Girls. That song says it all…..