Hey everyone! Today has been a difficult day. It’s been a difficult couple of days because there have been people in my life who have severely challenged how I view myself, reverting right back to how I used to ALWAYS view myself, and I am now questioning my self worth and my worth to them. When this happens- and it happens too often for me to continue to ignore- it drains the color out of every aspect of my life. It makes me just want to quit and give up on all of my dreams. I feel so utterly low. Alternatively, I am also very angry because I don’t deserve to feel this way. I’m tired of this damaging and painful cycle and the damage it is doing to my life.
When relationships cycle like this no one person is at fault. It takes two to fuck everything up and it take two to make things right again. In order to make things right again, the path to communication needs to reopen in such a way that both parties feel safe from judgment. The feelings and perspectives of both parties are valid- it is a matter of meeting somewhere in the middle. Unless that validity and acceptance is expressed, and trust is regained, there can be no real communication and therefore no tru healing of wounds that often go deeper than they seem. It takes a lot of I’m sorry’s and honest to goodness change in order to make it through to the other side. Both parties in the relationship have to want it and want it badly enough to see how they individually contribute to the problem and both be willing to change in order to find resolution.
It’s time to surrender, release and let go of people and circumstances that cause you to doubt who you are and who you want to be. Or at the very least, surrender to God, the Universe, the Divine, how those people make you feel and release yourself from the power of their words and actions. For a long time I believed I was worthless and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. That somehow, my feelings were less valid and important than other people. At some point I lost myself almost completely, along with every dream I had because I felt that I, along with my dreams, was less valuable, less important and less worthwhile. I learned that it was easier to keep quiet about what I was really feeling because how I was feeling always seemed to be wrong and/or crazy. I work hard every day to overcome these outdated beliefs that I am unworthy. Sadly, it doesn’t take much to set me back right to where I used to be- doubting myself, my sanity, the value of my feelings, and the validity of my perspective. As for me? I am definitely ready to release and let go of the power their words and actions have over me, that make me believe these things about myself all over again. It’s time to take that power away.
As I figure all this out, I can begin by taking the advice found on this beautiful card from The Power of Surrender oracle deck by Judith Orloff, M.D. – Surrender Outdated Beliefs about Yourself. The text on the card reads, “Let go of limiting ideas about yourself that originate from the past. Then you can own your power and soar in your life” (Orloff, 2016). Maybe then I can always remind myself that while I don’t deserve to be ignored, it could be worse, and I can figure out a way to overcome these debilitating feelings. I hope this card helps you out of your funky outdated beliefs. I know I needed this message today.
I hope that your day was better than mine. If it hasn’t been so great please know you’re not alone. Somehow, you’ll get through this and you will get through it in one piece. If you would like a Surrender deck oracle pull for yourself please let me know and we can make arrangements. I am also planning on offering a Tarot spread special. I will be using the 7 card Biddy Tarot Release and Let Go spread to help answer the following questions- ( I did not write this spread and the link to it can be found below if you want to use it for yourself!)
1. What am I feeling right now?
2. Why am I feeling it so strong?
3. How can I release this feeling?
4. What is this feeling transforming into?
5. How can I rise above?
6. What is my new beginning?
7. What have I learned?
The cost for this reading is $50. Click the PayPal button or message me at [email protected] or through my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/jupiterrisingtarot12
No one deserves to feel like shit about themselves, confined to a dark, dank place emotionally- especially when it’s other people’s words and actions that are responsible for putting you there. The fact is- you can get out in SPITE of those people, words, and actions. I’m here for you. I know how it feels.